tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 11, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
busy news night. thanks for ? >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- andy garcia -- "ben-hur's" jack huston -- from "mr. robot," rami malek -- and music from the go-go's with cleto and the cletones. and now, by all means -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. thanks for joining us. another big night of politics in
from philadelphia, where liberty was born and the fresh prince was raised, the democratic national convention, night three of the dnc, featuring president obama and vice president biden. that's right, now that we got all the boring speeches out of the way, here comes uncle joe biden on a harley with short shorts and no shirt on, firing everybody up. but of all the many luminaries who spoke today, i believe my opinion the most powerful speech of t reverend jesse jackson. >> i will hear their prayer and forgive their sin and heal their land. it's healing time, it's hope time, it's hillary time, it's healing time, it's hope time, it's hailary time, it's healing time, it's hope time. it's hillary time, it's hope time, it's healing time.
>> jimmy: he forgot hammer time, i think. healing time. that was impressive. i've never seen anybody remix himself before. hillary clinton's choice for vp, senator tim kaine, also spoke tonight which is exciting. if hillary wins she'll be the first-ever female president. kaine would also make history as the first vice president named tim. that's right. i think that's what we call progress. bill clinton gave a long speech last night. our former president told the story about his 45-year-long relationship with hillary. like he skipped over a part of that story? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there was an omission, right? he started the speech by saying, in the spring of 1971, i met a girl. and then everyone at the convention let out a huge sigh of relief when the girl turned out to be hillary. [ laughter ] it was a good speech. very well received. but did anyone else note the
>> in the spring of 1971, i met a girl. [ sexy music playing ] >> she had big blond hair. i got close enough to touch her back, but i couldn't do it. somehow i knew this would not be just another tap on the shoulder. couple days later i saw her again. i remember she was wearing a long, white, flowery skirt. i actually drove she smiled and looked at me like, what is this boy up to? here i was in a trance just staring out the window, trying not to cry. and there was hillary on her hands and knees. [ laughter ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the rest of the story
while we're on the subject of horny democrats, former congressman anthony weiner is at the dnc. yesterday he weighed in on the rumor donald trump's son donald jr. might run for mayor of new york city. >> the only thing could make me come out of retirement and run for mayor again, is if anyone named "trump" ran, to beat him like a rented mule and turn the keys back or >> jimmy: okay, drop your pants. i like his come out of -- i like he says, come out of retirement. as if the reason he decided to go away was to play golf. donald trump's campaign manager today now says trump has no plan to release his tax returns, which is a long-standing custom for presidential nominees. the reason they give is trump is in the middle of an audit, but some are speculating that trump is hiding a giant bombshell. which i don't know, trump's
business expense? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you think a line item of hair is going to change anyone's mind? ordinarily i'd say we shouldn't assume there's something damaging in someone's tax returns because the person hasn't released them but this is donald trump. do you think honestly think if those returns showed a billion dollars worth of income from legitimate businesses and millions of dollars in charitable wouldn't show them to us? not only would he show them to us, he'd have them blown up and posted on the sides of aircraft carriers. he'd have them -- they would be skywritten over the olympics. you'd be reading donald trump's tax returns on the little screens above the gas pump when you fill up. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i would like to see those. trump was in top form today. trump had a press conference in doral, florida, talking about the recent e-mail hack of the dnc. when he made what might be his
russia, if you're listening, i hope you're able to find the 30,000 e-mails that are missing. i think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press. >> jimmy: that's right, donald trump is asking russia to hack our former secretary of state. this country, we've officially become a weird early '90s action movie you'd in the middle of the day. even his own running mate distanced himself from those comments. minutes after the press conference, mike pence released a statement saying, if it is russia and they are interfering in our elections, i can assure you both favorites in u.s. -- can assure you, both parties in the u.s. government will ensure there are serious consequences, in spite of what my nutty running mate just encouraged them to do. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: poor mike pence.
whole ride. no refund. as a result of all this russia stuff, tax stuff, there's been speculation now as to whether or not trump had some kind of financial relationship with the russians. this is what donald had to say about that. >> can you say unequivocally russia has no business in you, that you don't have any -- >> no, i have nothing to do with russia. john, how many times do i have to say? are you a smart man? i have nothing to do with russia. >> jimmy: he has nothing to do with russia. he stopped ordering wives from them years ago. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: for those who might still have doubts about some paul manafort put those doubts to rest quite unequivocally. >> to be clear, mr. trump has no financial relationships with any russian oligarchs? >> that's what he said, that's what he said, that's obviously -- obviously our -- obviously what our position is. >> jimmy: well, i'm convinced. must be a hell of a poker player. while on the subject of hacking,
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love the show. it's now in its second season. tonight they unveiled a new character who i believe will win the emmy in 2017. watch. >> this is our biggest hack yet. i'm in this now. we're in this together. we got root access, let's run the vpn. thankfully we have a new member. web cipher. everyone on the boards i see are talking about this guy. pulling the key logger. running a decryption. >> googling how to run through decryption now. decryption with a "y"? >> you're googling it? >> usually i let my nephew handle this kind of stuff, honestly. let me get him on the phone. >> no, no -- cipher, no one from
>> oh, actually, i can't even call him because my phone needs to update. can you show me how to do that? >> we don't have time for that, man. >> we don't? >> no. how's it coming with the vpn? >> i think good. is this right? >> is that a blingy? >> isn't that what you asked for? hey, you know what, while i have you here, i have not been able to sync my contacts to the cloud. and i don't want to lose any of my facebook friends. what? >> you've never done this before, have you, web cipher? >> if i'd never done this before would i have a whole phone full of emojis? >> did you really just say
>> we really stepped in it this time, didn't we? >> who are you talking to? hi. >> no one. >> hey, i have a question, could i have a hug? >> no. gotta go. >> just a little one? >> no. >> all right. could i come with you? >> i don't think so, man. >> oh. >> you should probably just hang out with your nephew. >> oh. hello, carson? >> what? [ phone hangs up ] [ laughter ] >> please hang up and trial your call again. >> jimmy: never did get to sync my contacts. thanks to rami malek and my new friends. when we come back, we went to the conventions, asked republicans and democrats to imitate each other. and the results are both tragic and magic. so stick around, we'll be right
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this was on c-span. a guy called to give his take on bill clinton's speech and to share his personal experience while taking it in. >> pete is up next, bay village, ohio, an independent. what did you think of how the democrats are portraying themselves and their candidate? >> caller: well, i was listening to bill clinton tell his story tonight. and my mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets. i literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand -- >> all right, pete. pete, we're going to move on. >> jimmy: what happened to the chicken nuggets? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was he able to save them? well done, pete. as we've seen attendees at both conventions become very passionate when speaking about the other side. we decided to conduct an examination of this. we went to the rnc last week and the dnc this week to ask republicans for their thoughts
and this is what they shared. >> describe democrats. >> gun control. handouts. debt. what else? you want more? just a general disdain for god and country, in my opinion. >> most of them want to give everything away. >> maybe brainwashed? >> i can't describe all democrats but it is my learned opinion that the democrat party is a crime syndicate, not a real political party. >> what are republicans like? >> people that don't have a clue. >> closed-minded. >> stuffy. >> they're mean. >> in some sense some of them are racists. >> i've yet to meet a racist republican where i live or with the people i work with. with the party. or a homophobic republican. >> tell us your name. >> doris hurdle from jackson, tennessee.
>> i'm the only what? >> ten i see. >> oh, okay. >> what are the worst things about democrats? >> well, they believe in all the wrong things. >> like? >> well -- you can marry anybody you want. and it doesn't matter if it's another man or another woman or anything. and that's just against god's words, you know? and pretty soon i think they'll be -- i have so many friends and i think pretty soon they're going to be trying to marry their dogs. >> do an impression of democrats complaining about the issues. >> they whine. oh, trump said this, trump said that. >> do an impression of a republican talking about the issues. >> it's my way or the highway! i'm right, you're wrong! >> i am for law and order! >> could you please pass me my rolex watches?
>> when you tie damsels to train tracks why do you leave before the train comes and they get a chance to get away? >> it lends an air of mystery to the whole thing. >> complete this sentence. i wish republicans would stop blank and start blank. >> i wish republicans would stop blaming the poor and start blaming the rich. >> i wish they would stop trying to give everything away and start watching their pennies. >> let me ask you, is that all moustache or is some of that comingut >> it should be all moustache. i got that walrus thing going on there. >> that might not be moustache. >> oh-oh. >> if you think about it, like a sailboat, the winds will blow the sail. the republicans are more the rudder. they're going to steer it over the course and go in the direction that you need to go to get the objective, rather than blowing with the prevailing winds. which one blows here? the republicans or the democrats? >> the democrats. >> would you say one nice thing about republicans for us?
they did not start world war ii. >> say one nice thing about democrats. >> soon they'll be gone. >> where are they going? >> do i have to answer that? they're going. in november. they'll be gone. no more democrats. yay! >> you know, i believe every human being is a good human being. they are good at heart. >> even donald trump? not him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. what we learned, not everyone agrees. tonight music from the go-gos. from "ben hur," jack huston is here. be right back with andy garcia! [ cheers and applause ] ? always multi-tasking. [baby crying] always busy making something.
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tuesday at the capitol theater in clearwater, florida. tomorrow night, greg kinnear, dana white from the ufc, and comedian dino archie. our first guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actor whom you know from too many memorable movies to mention. believe me, i've tried, it's too many. sunday nights on hbo, he faces off with dwayne johnson on a show called "ballers." >> you need to get sizzle back where he belongs then get back to business as usual. okay? >> no. >> if you think it was easy for you to dig some [ bleep ] up on me, how easy do you think it's going to be for me to dig up some [ bleep ] about your partner joe? reminds you of what i can do with what i already know about you, my friend. yeah? i'm too big to fail. you just entered a world of hurt. shame on you. >> jimmy: please welcome andy garcia! [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: how are you? you look good with the beard and without the beard. was the beard a prop? >> i was going to say the same thing about you. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> although i hear there's a lot of ladies saying you look very sexy with the beard. >> jimmy: that's what they tell you. no one says it to my face. my wife likes the beard. so she wants me to keep >> no, she didn't. >> jimmy: it had to go, right? >> well, you know. it was a long, hot summer, you know. with a beard. >> jimmy: yeah. you know, i was thinking of having a beard made out of mink. [ laughter ] i don't know where i would get a mink -- oh, wait -- [ cheers and applause ] there's a very nice lady here, her mother passed away and she had her made into a bear. "ballers" is shot in miami, your
>> that's my hometown. >> jimmy: you don't live there now? >> no, i have a home there still though. >> jimmy: you have friends there and the whole deal? >> i have tons of friends in miami. >> jimmy: childhood trends? >> i have childhood friends there. >> jimmy: that you keep in touch myth? >> some. [ laughter ] >> those who survived. >> jimmy: those who survived, remain? >> those who are allowed to communicate outside of their cell. [ laughter ] no, i do have a lot of -- childhood friend in miami? i don't want to rank them but who pops to mind? >> well, my oldest friend i still communicate is a young -- -- young man by the name of zoom zoom zami. >> jimmy: zoom zoom is his name? oh, that's great. why do they call him that? >> you'd have to ask zoom zoom. if he would tell you he'd have to kill you, it's one of those
>> jimmy: yeah, right. does anybody call him zoom for short? >> triple z. >> jimmy: what's he up to? >> oh my god. [ laughter ] >> bring the lights down real low. i'm going to do an interpretive dance. no, you know, he's a free spirit. >> jimmy: he is. >> free spirit. you know. you might run into him while you're doing your man on the street on hollywood boulevard. >> jimmy: is that right. were you similarly a free spirit growing up there in miami? because when i think of miami, i think of like su celebrities and people that look good with no clothes. >> where we came from, i was 5 when we came from cuba. i was in miami in the '60s. the beatles came by and played. it was quieter then. it was kind of a little bit of a lull from the '50s to when sort of like the restoration of the miami beach today and the art deco and all that. >> jimmy: the scene that goes on there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you speak english when you came over? >> no, no english. >> jimmy: was that hard for you as a 5-year-old? >> i picked it up pretty quick.
it was a little bit of a transition thing, i was in preschool, but someone would say, would you like to borrow my crayon? then you'd punch him in the face because you didn't know what he was saying. just in case, you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it could be a weapon he's brandishing. the burnt sienna, you don't know what that is. could be a knife on the other end. >> once i understood, i was good. >> jimmy: you stopped punching people for offering you crayons, >> b >> jimmy: what did? >> punching people in the face. >> jimmy: yeah, that's the way. >> s.a.g. is the screen actors guild. >> jimmy: and you have to get a job before you can get into s.a.g. but you can't have a job unless you're in s.a.g. it's a weird thing that happens. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it seems to work out okay. >> like running for president, you know. >> jimmy: what did you do before then? what were you doing for work as a teenager, a young man in miami? >> oh, well -- wow. we used to collect bottles on the beach.
>> recycling? >> recycling. take them to the local store, they'd give you nickels and dimes depending on the size. i worked in hotels. picking up cigarettes. in the pool. my brother worked for a character named murf the surf who was notorious. brought surfing to miami, but he was also a notorious jewel thief. >> jimmy: what? >> you can google him. >> jimmy: murf the surf was a jewel thief? everybody knows. >> not everybody. but he had a long run, so it wasn't like -- he got caught, went to jail. >> jimmy: wow. >> and he owned a lot of the pool concessions and brought surfing to miami. >> jimmy: what did your brother do for him? >> he was the pool boy. he was in junior high. go over before school, throw out all the cushions and then after school go and attend to the guests. you know, pick up all the cushions. >> jimmy: clean everything up. >> on the weekends he would let me go and i'd pick up the cigarettes to go swimming in these extraordinary pools at those hotels. >> did you ever make love to the
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: dwayne johnson -- >> oh, i tried. >> jimmy: your costar in "ballers." is he somebody that you knew before? >> i didn't make love to dwayne johnson. >> jimmy: me neither. >> serious guy. >> jimmy: i'm on the list, but -- yeah. >> what number are you? >> jimmy: i'm 14. >> you're ahead. >> jimmy: did you know him beforehand? >> i met him once at a wrestling match. i took my son and he was very gracious. >> jimmy: oh, he was in the ring? >> we met afterwards. he's not only a wonderful actor but the classiest guy. >> jimmy: he is one of the nicest -- nicers guys. i don't know if he's hiding some terrible secret. like he's -- but he seems to be very nice. >> aren't we all, jimmy? >> jimmy: is it more fun playing the bad guy? >> sure, of course. always. >> jimmy: is it always more fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i guess it would be more fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's just kind of sitting there looking at you. >> even sitting down he towers over you. >> jimmy: he's a monster of a man.
inadequate in any way? >> no, because he eats brown rice and avocados. >> jimmy: that's true. he has to suffer for that beauty. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you play a lot of golf. have you ever played golf with donald trump? >> no. >> jimmy: you've never played with him? >> no. >> jimmy: wow. i figured you must have. >> i've never played at one of his courses. >> never played on one of his courses, wow, how about that. you that. [ laughter ] i had 700 follow-up questions if you had. >> oh, by the way, i know jesus. >> jimmy: oh, jesus. [ cheers and applause ] >> i met mary magdalene, she slipped this -- >> jimmy: oh, she did. a little inside joke. >> jimmy: please give them both my best. andy garcia, everybody.
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still to come, music from the go-goes. our next guest is about to take on the role of a legendary racer, ben-hur opens in theaters august 13th. please say hello to jack huston. ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: for those who don't know your grandfather, john huston, legendary director. your aunt anjelica huston, great actress. your favorite singer is whitney houston. >> exactly. favorite city is houston, texas. >> jimmy: is it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we know your favorite chain restaurant. you're from england? >> from england originally, yeah. >> jimmy: they're both americans, how did this happen? were you deported? >> yeah, my father's american. so actually my aunt anjelica and
so he went over to england when he was younger, found my mother. i think that's the wrong way of saying it, found her. >> jimmy: was she hiding. >> she was hiding. as we all were. but they got together and then i ended up staying there with my mother and my father was back in the states. >> jimmy: and you came back when? >> i moved over here when i was just about -- just turning 21, just so i could get a green card, actually. tricky. >> jimmy: oh, is that right. >> yeah. my dad was still in charge of me. >> jimmy: your aunt anjelica took you in. >> she did. they took me in. they put me in an apartment opposite the house which they have this -- they did have this gorgeous place in venice. opposite was the animal house where my uncle bob actually kept his dogs.
>> jimmy: they put you in a kennel. >> they had two rot wilers in there. it's either a beautiful dog house or a really crappy apartment. i don't know which. >> jimmy: did you have to sleep on the floor? were you drinking out of a bowl? >> there were moments where i left my bike outside and i came back and there was just a frame a bike. >> jimmy: i see. it can be rough in t was it the bike being stolen? >> when i moved in the dogs moved out at that point. >> jimmy: i see. >> i have an image of me telling people in and it's a kennel with cages. >> jimmy: i imagine you scrounging around for scraps of meat on the floor. >> well, that did happen. >> jimmy: your aunt took you to the academy awards, how old were you? >> that was when i was a bit younger, yeah, i made it to the academy awards. one of the scariest moments of my life. i don't think at that point from
i remember that. getting out of the car and just being hit by blinding lights. literally letting go of her hand and running inside. >> jimmy: really? you ran? >> i was really scared. so then i had to rethink my possible job of being an actor. >> jimmy: yeah, yes. >> this is not working for me. but i think a few more of those, and you get a little more in tune. >> jimmy: so "ben-hur," a big chariot race is the scene is it cgi? >> every time you see us on the horses, that's us on the horses. we did rigorous training for that. months. >> jimmy: at any point did you go, i wish we were not really with the horses, i wish this was all fake? in some air-conditioned box? >> the first time i got on that chariot, with four stages. there's two horses, then four
the horses love it. when you get them in the arena they want to run. >> jimmy: they do? >> they love it. i'm holding the reins. you have to wrap around your elbows. to stop them you have to put you feet on the front of the chariot and go completely vertical. they can barely feel it. >> jimmy: like fred flintstone stopping his car. >> exactly. the first time i did it, i was convinced i was going to die. the whole way. then you realize later, you'll have to remember to act as well, because the first time, i was just like. so you have to deliver lines and act rather manly. >> jimmy: ben-hur, the cowardly chariot racer. [ laughter ] >> i was with a wonderful actor, toby who plays masala. the first day, we hadn't got through lunch. he turned to me, i don't think i can do this. because we were both like the
then luckily after that, we got rather -- >> jimmy: how long did it take to shoot that chariot scene? >> six weeks with first unit, six weeks with second unit. so about three months. >> oh, wow. >> they cut it down to 12, 15 minutes of film. >> jimmy: that's annoying. >> exactly. it is exceptional, what they did with the chariot race, i've seen ate few times and it's mind blowing. >> jimmy: three months of riding chariots? >> literally, and six cameras and like getting -- he wanted it to be so immersive that he said -- today's audience, we've got so much, but he said, for this you need to feel like you're on the chariots. therefore, we have to be on the chariots and we need to feel every moment of it. everyone's going to compare it to the amazing wilder version, one of the most exceptional moments in cinema. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> we were in an ode to, in homage, let's try and do something very special, which i think we did. >> jimmy: were you happy when it was over, when you could finally ride in a car again?
turn up to the premiere in a chariot. and i was like, no. >> jimmy: really? >> no, no. that could go horribly wrong. on hollywood boulevard, me cruising down -- exactly. showing up for all of this. >> jimmy: you vertically pulling -- >> exactly. >> these aren't the right horses! >> jimmy: maybe you could be the first uber chariot driver. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that would be something special. >> that would be something. >> jimmy: i look forward to seeing it. it a these years it's the first time somebody said, let's do "ben-hur." >> we're proud and honored to be a part of this. >> jimmy: it's very nice to meet you. congratulations. "ben-hur" opens august 19th. jack huston, everybody. be right back with the go-gos! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
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>> dicky: if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show, call 866-jimmy-tix, or go to jimmy kimmel live.com. hi guys! got the birthday girl a drum set. drum set? [laughs] oh you guys must have time warner cable. this is gonna be some party. yeah, their free home wifi lets us connect all our devices at the same time. and there's no data cap, so... the kids must love that, huh?! hey, there's the birthday girl! let's get this party started! get time warner cable 300 meg internet. that's 50 times faster than dsl and no data cap. uploading! honey, i'm goin viral! call now. get 50 megs for $39.99 a month. hi grandma! miss you! who is that?
th time warner cable's exclusive one-hour arrival window, so you don't have to wait around. plus, there's no contract all with a money-back guarantee. he over-did it. [snoring] [giggling] get 50 meg internet with unlimited data for $39.99 per month. call now. ask about free installation, and access to nearly 500,000 wifi hotspots with select plans. call today. (vo) it'd be great to take a break from the expected, virtually. now, you can. experience the new gold castle scratch-off with 3d gameplay.
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank andy garcia, jack huston and rami malek. apologies to matt damon, ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, you can see them on their "farewell tour" this summer, playing one of their greatest hits, ""vacation," the go-go's! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? can't seem to get my mind off of you back here at home with nothing to do ?
? tomorrow's a day of mine you won't be in ? ? when you looked at me ? ? i should have run ? ? but i thought it was just for fun ? i see i was wrong and i'm not so strong ? ? i should have known all along that time would tell a week without you ? thought i'd forget ? ? two weeks without you ? ? still haven't gotten over you yet ? vacation all i ever wanted vacation had to get away vacation meant to be spent alone ?
? they don't know where they want to go ? ? but they're walking in time ? ? walking in time ? ? they got the beat ? ? they got the beat ? ? they got the beat ? ? yeah, they got the beat ? all the kids just getting out of school be cool ? ? hang around til quarter after 12 ? ? that's when they fall in line ? ? they got the beat ? ? they got the beat ? ? yeah kids got the beet ?
? go-go music really makes us dance do the pony puts us in a trance ? ? do the watusi just give us a chance that's when we fall in line ? ? ? they got the beat ? ? we got the beat ? ? we got the beat ? ? ? we got the beat ? ? we got the beat ? ? we got the beat ? everybody get on your feet ? ? we got the beat ? ? we know you can dance to the beat ? ? jump back ? ? round and round and round ? ? woo ? ? we got the beat ? ? we got the beat ? ? we got the beat ?
this is "nightline." >> tonight, hope and healing. two months since the deadliest mass shooting in modern u.s. history. how those left in the wake of tragedy in orlando are turning their pain into power. one mother's crusade. weapon. no one. >> and the unspoken challenges they face every day, coming to terms with loss and finding inspiration. . >> i have christopherura's vote